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2001-01-07 | 22:50:30

i had a very introverted weekend.

an inny vs. an outie.

it was nice and different.

i am an introverted person. it takes awhile for me to open up to people. oh sure, i've always got a ready smile. that's my way of reaching out without reaching too far. but i'm shy around new people. very shy.

a lot of folks are surprised when they hear i'm in improv classes since i am so shy. it did take me several weeks before i "got it," though. before i could step outside my "safe" limits enough to do well in the class.

being shy doesn't feel so great sometimes. like those lyrics from the smiths' song: "i am the son and the heir of a shyness that is criminally vulgur."

you feel apart from people. like the boy-in-the-bubble phenomenon. you feel misunderstood. you misunderstand.

i'm getting better about it, though. over the last several years, i've developed pretty darn good conversational skills and i even sometimes force myself to make the first attempt at talking to someone at a party, etc. other times i want to be left alone and dread human contact. i need a lot of down time. a lot of alone time. but just enough. i'm not envious of the hermit's choice of lifestyle, by any means. i need my friends and social interaction very much! just an occasional unplugging keeps my transmission running smoothly.

so this weekend was unplugged to the max. it felt a bit lonely, i got a bit down, i slept a heck of a lot, but i realized that that is necessary sometimes. life energies ebb and flow for a reason. batteries ain't the only things that need to be recharged. so now i feel in peak energizer bunny form. bring on the crashing cymbals of day-to-day life! my bunny tail has been fully fluffed.

***

movie recommendation: chocolat. a charming mix of romance, reality and fantasy, with just enough bitterness to make the sweet all that more savory. it's full of good wisdom. it even made me cry a bit. i think you'll enjoy it. juliette binoche was wonderful, as was her daughter (who i recognized from "ponette"--a great french film from a few years back). ha! i can't resist this pun..."chocolat will melt your heart."

after i got home from seeing the film i got the sweet surprise of a phone call from someone completely special to me. now that beats a godiva truffle any old day...although i'd like to have my truffle and eat it, too! mwah to you!

***

carrie anne shares her thoughtful girlboy list today...

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take a peek at these - (c) 2000-2003 nictate:

health tip
2005-03-16

health tip
2005-03-16

moving house
2004-11-19

quibbling with quitherfeather
2004-11-17

catcher in the wry
2004-11-16