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2000-12-01 | 04:22:21

i realized something today.

i am a hug connoisseur.

i like hugging. a lot. but there are varying types and qualities of hugs, and some are better than others.

i have to say, most girls don't give good hugs...at least not to other girls. most girls deliver only-shoulders-touching hugs with hips arched away from the huggee. i guess that's to avoid infringing on a fellow gal's "space" or to avoid any "sexualization" (is that even a word?) of the contact. sometimes those hugs seem to take so much effort in their restraint, the gesture is more of a subtractive movement than a giving one.

when i was in my teen years, i remember wanting to hug my nuclear family members good and long. my mom and sister, a bit impatient by nature, would shrug me off at a certain point. "you hug too long," my sis would whine. "you hang on me like a limp rag," my mom would sigh. i remember kinda shrinking a bit at the sound of those words. i felt like maybe i was weird. plus, i craved the skin comfort hugs provided and wasn't getting my quota.

i remember my college dean telling us dorm girls that humans need a certain number of hugs to survive. i believe it. hugs must release endorphins or some kinda cozy brain chemicals that keep us running in top form.

to be fair, some guys don't hug well either. i have two guy friends who hug me goodbye by turning sideways to me, so that our shoulders are at right angles. then they reach one arm out (while still facing forward) for me to approach for a quick around-the-shoulder squeeze-pat. lame-o! perhaps the gesture feels too intimate for them. they don't want to impose. they don't want to risk getting too close (physically or emotionally).

my wacky friend brian at work gives hugs around the office. once in awhile when we cross paths, he'll grin and open up his arms for a quick squeeze...then we go along our way to a meeting or a kitchen visit or whatever. i don't think he has any idea how much that little gesture brightens my day and raises my spirits.

there is someone new in my life who hugs like a mofo. head-to-toe, solid hugs that don't pull away too soon. hugs that send warmth and feeling like an electric blanket of caring. he should give lessons. perhaps the two of us should start a hug seminar series.

you know, we human types move about the world guarding our little spheres of existence. not touching each other. not smiling at each other. just slipping past. life is complicated enough without extraneous human contact, it seems.

ok, ok, society has certain boundaries. hugging strangers isn't smiled on, for obvious reasons. but hugging friends and loved ones at any opportunity should be encouraged, in my book.

a hug hello, a hug goodbye, a hug when a charming thing escapes their lips, a hug when life's got them down, a hug when there's something to celebrate. i know i risk being categorized as a care bear come to life, but if necessary, i'll wear a starry rainbow on my chest to make my point...hug at will!

that's it!!! i'll be the brad pitt of hugging. i'll call it "hug club." i'll get underground groups going nationwide. we'll meet in dimly lit, chilly basements and take turns hugging each other. if it's your first night in hug club, you've gotta hug. homework will involve provoking hugs with strangers. hug club members will show up to work with telltale signs of having hugged into the wee hours the night before. co-workers' eyebrows will raise at the sight of the hug club kids' contented grins and glowing cheeks.

the first rule of hug club:

talk about hug club.

the second rule of hug club:

hug, you lovable club kids, hug!

***

have you hugged girlboy today? if not, visit meghan's list for a good read.

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take a peek at these - (c) 2000-2003 nictate:

health tip
2005-03-16

health tip
2005-03-16

moving house
2004-11-19

quibbling with quitherfeather
2004-11-17

catcher in the wry
2004-11-16