2000-11-14 | 06:00:38

before i begin the beguine, i have to give props to the hilarious dirtnerdluv for this gem:

"I can feel a cold coming along and I blame George W. Bush. Somehow he has given me a cold. Yesterday at work Dan remarked that it's fun having two presidents. I told him it sounds like a TV sitcom. I really want a TV show called, "My Two Presidents" to be on the air. It would turn out that because of an obscure law, a tie would result in the US having TWO, count 'em, TWO presidents. Of course they don't get along at first, bickering over which family gets the presidential office, bedroom, etc. but soon they learn to respect each other. There would only be one vice president (cause it would be funnier), and he should be portrayed by the actor who played the neighbor on Empty Nest, the Isuzu commercial guy. Unless he's dead."

***

in yesterday's entry, i mentioned the fake 911 calls that we did in my comedy improv class this week. i've described to a couple of people how one of the sketches went and it got some larfs, so i thought i'd share it here, too.

the set-up is that this girl has run out of bubble bath and has called 911 in a panic. i played the operator and my classmate michelle was the "victim."

***actual transcript of a 911 call***

operator: 911. this is operator 25.

girl: ohmigod! ohmigod! ohmigod!

o: what is it, miss? please calm down.

g: i've run out of bubble bath!!! ohmigod! i drew the bath and it's full of water and now i realized that i don't have any bubble bath! ohmigod! help me!

o: ok, miss. are you sure you're completely out? maybe there is some you forgot about?

g: no! nonono! my bath and body works stuff is gone, my calgon...all of it!

o: do you have any mr. bubble? can you get to mr. bubble?

g: no! ohmigod! i'd do anything to have mr. bubble here, but no.

o: ok, ok. do you have any other products in your home with foaming action?

g: uh, uh, let me check in the kitchen.

o: don't leave the phone!!!

g: um, no, no. i have detergent, but it's the WRONG KIND! it's for the dishwasher. ohmigod! what am i going to do my boyfriend will be here in a hour!

o: ok, miss. do you have any shaving cream?

g: yes! yes, i do.

o: ok, apply it to the surface of the water.

g: but it smells like a man! my boyfriend was going to propose tonight! i don't want to smell like a man when he does!!! ohmigod!

***end of transcript***

i'd like to propose that you click on over to girlboy where john puts out a call for the girl of his dreams.

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