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2000-10-23 | 03:55:06

something amazing happened to me on friday night.

i got to see radiohead in concert.

it only took me about 24 hours of ebay efforts and $150 to make it happen. i would've worked twice that long and paid twice that much to go to the show--all with a smile on my face.

weeks ago on the day radiohead tickets went on sale through ticketmaster, i went with three co-workers to a little record store in downtown l.a. at 8 in the morning to get in line. we hoped that by choosing such a "remote" venue (yes, strangely enough, downtown is "remote" for l.a.) that we would be in a shorter line and get our tickets more easily. there was a two-ticket limit, which gave us more hope. we thought it might keep the scalpers from sucking up our seats.

long sad story short, the concert sold out in two minutes. the third person in line at our location got nosebleed seats and then we were turned away. four sorry souls walking through the mean streets of the city of angels. we tried to console ourselves with a greasy breakfast and a matinee of "best in show." we felt a bit better, yet were still smudged with disappointment as we returned to find our car with a flat tire. can you say, bummerama?

thus began my ebay hunt. about 50 pairs of tickets were for sale. i had never bid on ebay before, but soon got it down. i became keenly aware of the "five-minutes-left-in-auction" swoopers who would snatch the tickets i had been babysitting for days with a higher bid. bastards! then there was the bid i won which hadn't met "reserve price," so the sellar decided he'd rather keep the tickets. bastard! finally my efforts were rewarded with two pairs--$150 per ticket. i talked two of the original foursome into paying the inflated price with relative ease. the fourth recruit was a bit harder to convince, but finally he caved. everyone i told was astonished at the price. they didn't understand...this was radiohead. that's like seeing god on tour. you go. you pay. you worship.

first off...celebrity report. as the four of us waited in line to get in, cameron diaz cut past us to get into the v.i.p. door. she was with jared leto, her main man, and another chick. jared is really a pretty guy. he was all grunged-out with a beard-in-progress, greasy hair and a ski cap. she was in denim, popsicle-stick-thin, her wide lips pressed into an annoyed expression...probably her "crowd face"--not wanting to be hassled. she passed and when she was gone, i did a super catty thing. i did the "home alone" "yes!" fist-pulled-down-through-air action and said, "cameron diaz has bad skin!" isn't that pure evil? i know. it's just that when these people are airbrushed and gorgeous, it's nice to see that they ain't perfect up close. that's all. she's beautiful, no doubt. i enjoy seeing her on-screen. she's a doll. but i like knowing the skin thing. it's a girl thing. it's a catty girl thing. meeeeeow!

oh, so then we get inside and my friends see john cusack and one of them kinda says it loudly as john walks past, almost into his face..."john cusack!" i missed seeing him, but then as i stood in the t-shirt line i got to see another *star*! brad pitt! uh-huh. i almost said, "hey, i enjoy your diaryland page," but i didn't. the show had actually started (but i wanted that damn shirt somethun' fierce) and brad was trying to get into the orchestra pit section. security made him go around to some back door. heh. he was running and someone said something to him and he looked back and grinned his famous grin under his striped ski cap (style hint: obviously ski caps are haute, baby baby. saves on shampooing, too!). well, he won me over right serious right then. hot damn! renewed fan!

so, treasured t-shirt in hand, i take my seat next to my buddy and for some reason, glanced up behind me to see...my freakin' former crush about five seats away on the other side of the aisle. well, hot freakin' ass jelly doughnut damn. what are the odds? he was talking to the chick he was with, so didn't see me. i don't know if he saw me later on or not. i didn't make any effort to say "hi"--you know, trying to maintain the one shread of pride i still cling to. ha! i did turn to my friend (who knows the whole sad story) and said: "i'm so glad he'll see that i'm here with a guy! and a cute guy, no less!" meow part deux. the girl my former crush was with was pretty cute, pretty volumptuous. also wearing a ski cap. (whaup?!) meow times three: after seeing her i thought, "that bitch better be a fan." ahahaha! i'm terrible. by the end of the show, i thought, "oh well, if she wasn't a fan before, she is now." i was too blissed out to care anymo.

the show was beyond amazing. beyond. a couple of times i had to close my eyes and let the music wash over me. i felt like a hippie for the first time ever. just experiencing that incredibly beautiful, driving, exposed-soul music surge and waft and curl and swoon around me was so unbelievably cool. it was like having sex in a way, except it was while standing up, fully clothed in an auditorium full of people. aural pleasure. the lead singer flopped and jiggled like a spritely fish. poured his whole self into it. what a voice! what emotion! what brilliance! i felt like i needed a cigarette after one song...and i don't smoke! the word "gah!" kept popping out of my mouth as we applauded. "gah!" i was reduced to guttural noises of overwhelmation.

a couple of songs into the show, my friend turned to me and said, "thank you." about thirty seconds previous, i had almost turned to him and said "you're welcome." while all three of my companions had looked at me like i was a crazy person during my bidding frenzy, and while all of them grumbled about how they could've bought a dvd player with the money, they all changed their tune once they were in their seats--although almost no one in the crowd sat down once during the show. one of my friends said, "while it was happening, i couldn't have imagined any amount of money i wouldn't have paid to experience it."

when the band broke into "fake plastic trees," (my nominee for most beautiful song in the history of mankind) there were initial screams of recognition from the crowd, but those screams faded quickly into a blissful reverie of pure, utterly awestruck listening. 6,100 fans (not counting the ones hiding in the woods behind the arena) were asborbing radiohead with all the reverance and wonder that the performers deserved.

commenting on that reverential moment on the walk back to the car, one guy in our group said "at first when they screamed, i was worried, but then their sudden quietness gave me faith in people again."

faith. reverance. heaven on earth. yep, like god on tour.

***

speaking of heavenly things, an angel of a gal, stephanie has stepped off her cloud long enough to harp on the boy who will be the answer to her prayers over at girlboy.

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