2000-09-06 | 05:07:36

it's one of the oldest stories ever told...

girl meets boy's list about girls at roboninja.com. girl falls in love with list. girl thinks she fits the list to a tee and wonders if she'd fit the list-writing boy to a tee. girl discovers on boy's bio page that boy was born in 1979--her first year of high school. girl says, "doh!" and slaps forehead. but girl still loves the boy's list all the same.

then boy deletes girl list from site. girl asks boy to e-mail her list.

boy says, "i trashed it. how about if i write a new one?" girl says, "really, you'd do that for a virtual stranger? cool! ok."

boy says, "so what was the other one like again? besides being whiny and bothersome?"

girl tries to remember. sends a half-assed attempt at a couple of the list's first few lines. girl feels at a loss.

serendipitously, girl finds a forgotten print-out of cherished list. girl giddily sends boy old list. boy generously takes time out of his busy schedule to send girl new list. girl still likes old list best, but thinks that new list is cool, too. she also thinks that boy is even cooler for writing it for her--a virtual stranger.

girl decides to post the old and new list, plus write one of her own.

legend:

girl = nictate

boy = the dakota smith (thanks again, man! you're the coolest.)

***

the dakota smith's new "i would like a girl" list:

i would like a girl.

i would like a girl who gets up three minutes before i have to and wakes me up on days i must wake up.

i would like a girl who sleeps one minute longer than i do on days i can sleep in, so i can watch her sleep.

i would like a girl who wears the stupid shirts i make her. i would like a girl who makes me wear stupid shirts she makes me.

i would like a girl who needs glasses. i would like a girl who doesn't always wear them.

i would like a girl who hates the sun.

***

dakota's old "i would like a girl" list:

i would like a girl.

i would like a girl who understands the subtle beauty of old country music.

i would like a girl who doesn't have to shave her armpits to please anyone else.

i would like a girl who likes to sit and watch cartoons.

i would like a girl who lets me paint her toenails.

i would like a girl who can quote eminem. i would like a girl who can quote frank sinatra.

i would like a girl who would like me.

***

editor's note: see girls, didn't you just fall in love with those lists, too? guys, take note. master at work.

***

nictate's "i would like a boy" list:

i would like a boy.

i would like a boy who knows the value of a tastebud.

i would like a boy whose musical taste runs the gamut from frank sinatra to eminem to natalie merchant.

i would like a boy who makes me laugh. i would like a boy who thinks i'm funny, too.

i would like a boy who knows how to give a good, solid, full-body hug.

i would like a boy who taps my heel with his toes while we're curled up in bed, like a little morse code saying, "i'm glad you're next to me under these sheets."

i would like a boy who causes that little zing in my stomach when i catch his glance. i would like to make his stomach zing, too.

i would like a boy who thinks woody allen is a genius.

i would like a boy who thinks sports are unnecessary in his life.

i would like a boy who surprises me with fudgsicles and way too many kisses.

i would like a boy who would like me.

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