2000-08-08 | 04:02:10

i was standing in line at the post office today. it was taking forever. (was that redundant?)

yeah, so, taking forever. it kinda creeped up on me. the feeling of being a cog in a pointless wheel. how many times would i stand in lines just like this? an anonymous figure doing anonymous tasks? what, exactly, was the point of everything again?

i started to get hopeless. and i have no excuse to be hopeless. i'm one lucky bitch. but i stood there, holding my certified letter and feeling certifiable. i actually pondered suicide at that moment. good thing there were no letter openers around!

it was just for a moment. standing behind the retractable rayon roping and thinking. wow. it would be nice to not be here now. nice to not be anywhere right now. blink! me! gone! no more lines. no more nothing. sick, aye? yeah, sick. overdramatic? eh? what are you implying, mister?

my line came to an end. my letter was posted. i got back in my car to go back to work. a song i really liked came on. that helped a bit. but the corker came next...

i turned a corner and saw a sight for sore eyes. about 20 little kids sitting outside a brick-faced, public pool building. wearing all sorts and shapes and sizes and shades of swimming suits and clutching a plethora of primary-colored towels. each child was in a different position. some flailed flat on the sidewalk like sunning tortoises. some standing, chewing on their fists. some slouched up against the wall with skinny, awkward legs akimbo. all looking exhausted from splashful laps and water-wing flapping. just spent to their very cores. as if someone had carelessly tossed a handful of rainbow cupcake sprinkles onto the pavement to soak in some sun.

i absorbed the whole tableau in an instant. bah! ha! ha!

it made me laugh outloud. outLOUD.

an unexpected burst of joy...all thanks to some chlorine-soggy girls and boys. ahahaha!

hope! there you are! whew! thanks for putting me back in the swim of things.

p.s. i'd like to dedicate this one to candice, my silver lining girl.

<----������� ---->