fresh�| day old�| links�| e-mail�| guestbook�| diaryland

2000-07-25 | 04:37:55

ok. NOW i'm depressed.

i'm sitting here at my work computer crying and feeling sorry for myself. good thing it's after midnight, 'cause otherwise there would be someone coming around the corner saying, "oh, here's that file you needed...ah, shit. what's wrong?" but now it's just me and the humming office dishwasher. even the cleaning people have gone home.

so, yeah, me, depressed. maybe it's just post-partum blues from my new york high? maybe.

well, what sparked it all is this phone conversation with a friend of mine that ended moments ago. he was telling me about the ex-girlfriend he still misses, even though he swears they will never be a couple again. i keep telling him that in spite of all his doubts, they will end up together. he's given me enough evidence to convict him of that. i'd bet my first ipo on it.

so anyway, he starts mentioning little things he misses about her and little things he misses about being in a relationship. and you should know that this guy is good at stripping things down into little, charming, emotional descriptions that make you all fahklempt, let me tell you. that's some charming ass shit that boy can spin, for real.

so, i'm standing in my office listening as he turns a fuzzy focus lens on all this besam� mucho mushy stuff that he longs for in his best soft-as-brown-sugar-dreamy voice. and i start thinking about how i long for all that stuff, too.

motherfuck. so then we hang up and i'm all bittersweet sad and sappy and sitting here in front of a stupid pink i-mac when i really would have preferred orange and even though everything every other damn thing in my life is going freaking amazingly well, i miss, miss, miss, all that "honey, hand me a paper towel. i love when you laugh. don't do that, you know i'm ticklish" stuff. what he said. shit. damn. howdy. shit. ah, fuck.

i think my friend is a relationship version of tokyo rose.

<----������� ---->


take a peek at these - (c) 2000-2003 nictate:

health tip
2005-03-16

health tip
2005-03-16

moving house
2004-11-19

quibbling with quitherfeather
2004-11-17

catcher in the wry
2004-11-16