2000-07-04 | 02:00:03

first off, mad crazy props to right angle for her hilarious and smart male lesbian fantasy manifesto . i bow in the presence of such greatness.

so i've been thinking about this movie, "the perfect storm," the george clooney/marky mark hunk-er down and batten the hatches, hydro-based action movie. oh, i'm not going to bother seeing it, having already heard about the unbearable lightness of the script. (sample line: "i have to fish. it's in my blood.")

anyway, a perfect storm. when all the environmental factors add up to the most fully formed storm imaginable. then i started thinking, hmmmm...about as rare as the perfect man. of course, there is no such thing as the perfect man (or woman, for you egalitarians in the house). so, perfect storm...not so rare when compared to the likelihood of sailing into the face of a fully formed homo sapien.

what do i have to hope for in weathering the hail and sleet of the dating world? a hurricane? a tornado? a tropical depression?

actually, i was in a tropical depression today. i was supposed to hang out with one of my who's this weekend, but he flaked. i was left thinking, i put on black underwear and shaved my legs from ankle to hip for this? uh-uh. so i was feeling a little sorry for myself. it did manage to snap me out of my horniness obsession, which is a good thing. i realized i needed to let go and let good food be my solace in the face of sexlessness.

i got myself my favorite pizza and ice cream and then watched john malkovich be a lousy husband to nicole kidman in "portrait of a lady." mini-review: between his monotone malkovichiness and her stoic staring and the consumptive coughing of that hal hartley's-favorite-leading-man guy (am i doomed to hate every movie he is in?), it was a yawn-a-thon, but did make me glad to be single--bonus!

i know i'm just in a temporary low-pressure system. i know i need to scan the horizon for future forecasts. as much as i like the current weathermen in my life, i realize that i haven't met the meterologist for me.

i think it's gonna be a long, hot summer. which puts me in mind of paul newman in his late twenties. hey...wait a minute...maybe there IS such a thing as a perfect man.

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