2000-07-03 | 02:50:30

my friend andre just came up with a game where he gives me the first line of a story to write and vice versa. "i have a little man in my nose," he said.

i have a little man in my nose.

oh, he doesn't bother me or anything. he just sits up in there, all nice and neat. the only time he'll make anything resembling a complaint is when i sneeze. that flusters him so, because it gets his seersucker suit damp.

he's resided in my nose for about three months now. i'm not sure how he got in there. i think he crawled in one night when i was asleep. (otherwise, i'm sure i would have noticed his arrival.) he seems content. he seems sanguine.

it unnerves me at times to think of a miniature, fully formed human being dwelling in my nasal passage, but there's really nothing i can do--short of surgical removal, and i have a great fear of doctors and medical procedures, so he and i live together amicably.

i wonder what will happen if i meet someone and wed. will the little man be jealous? how will i explain my teeny nostril hitchhiker to my truly beloved? will my mate think me mad?

for now, all is peace. the little man is asleep, as we speak. i can feel the tiny shudders of his heavy, dreaming breath against the ticklish hairs in my nose. i'd better say goodbye for now. i don't want to disturb him with our conversation.

in parting, i would like to say, don't be fearful if one day you awake with a little man (or woman) in your nose. you'll grow used it, i assure you. and you may even come to enjoy the comfort of a constant companion, as i have.

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