2000-06-30 | 19:36:30

i now know what it is to be a man.

perhaps i am naive to say that. it's only been about 72 hours of manhood that i've experienced. and i haven't yet booked a flight to sweden for the surgical procedure.

a couple of entries ago, i wrote about my libido lobotomy and how i have reached critical mass in the horniness arena after a two-year sex embargo. that was a cry for help that continues to be sounded. the thought of getting some has become an obsession. i impatiently try to figure out who, what, where, how--well, i know the what--but the who, where, how, is puzzling enough. there are only two who's who i'd even consider. and neither one of them is in any hurry to conjugate my sentence. that leaves a big fat how and when sitting there, staring at me. boo on you, how and when. boo on you.

hardly a five-minute period can elapse without me thinking about getting some. a guy friend who i have been bemoaning my lot to told me, "now you know what it's like to be a guy." i chuckled at the remark then, but now it reverberates in my head as only poignant truthfulness can reverberate.

so this is what it's like to be a guy. every few minutes, a thought about sex. trouble focusing on work. imagining a certain unnamed member of the opposite sex licking the inner flesh of my bicep during an advertising brainstorming meeting. checking out the not-very-good-looking messenger guy, just because...he's a guy, and he's there, for god's sake. and wondering what he's doing later, then realizing what i just thought, and mentally running screaming from the recognition of this sex-obsessed monster i've become.

being a man sucks! i know i'm still a testerone toddler, but guys, i feel your pain.

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