fresh�| day old�| links�| e-mail�| guestbook�| diaryland

2000-06-28 | 04:09:21

i have never been more horny in my life.

"horny" is such a fifteen-year-old boy, "american pie" word to use, but dammit, but it's so fucking applicable here.

i hope this isn't grossing you out. you may want to turn back now and catch the shuttle back to your car.

how did i get to this point, you ask? this point where my libido is overwhelming the frontal lobe of my brain and derailing all other trains of thought for the good of knocking boot pursuits?

a couple of months ago, i reached what science calls the age of an average woman's sexual peak. no shit, mr. wizard.

as irony would have it, i've been celibate for two years.

oh, don't get me wrong. it's not like i'm "hard up" in the traditional sense. i've actually never had more male attention in my life as i've had over the last two years. even though i'm in my thirties, i'm still "holding it together," as one potential suitor said in an attempted assault and flattery.

i've had a flurry of interest over the last few months. i've reached critical pheremone mass. but the tenderonis i've met...while entertaining and charming, are not bedable in my book. for whatever reason, short attention span, recreational drug use, the "i like you, but" virus, they aren't making the "doing the nasty" short list for me.

the catch is that i'm kinda an old-fashioned gal in that i just can't do it with just anybody. it takes me a couple months of dating someone with progressive disclosure to get to that point. i need a certain amount of trust and familiarity. i am also a germ/STD-phobe, so i could never have a fling or one-nighter. i guess you could call it a cooch 22.

so to show you how bad it's gotten, today i was proofreading this advertising piece with a 3-D illustration of a vampire on it. i was looking into his glowing eyes and catching the glint of his canines and this thought crossed my mind: "he's kinda hot." oh my gawd! i'm attracted to an illustrated fictional creature of the night.

holy mother of murgatroid. get me to a nunnery!

<----������� ---->


take a peek at these - (c) 2000-2003 nictate:

health tip
2005-03-16

health tip
2005-03-16

moving house
2004-11-19

quibbling with quitherfeather
2004-11-17

catcher in the wry
2004-11-16