2000-06-25 | 03:13:29

as i was driving home tonight after helping a friend pack to move (between bouts of watching a jennifer lopez butt-kiss-a-thon on vh1--and as you know, there's a lot of butt to kiss), i began to crave ice cream. i cruised along the freeway in the dark, reflecting on my options.

well, there were fudgsicles in my freezer at home. convenient. no need to go through the embarassment of being in the grocery store during prime club-hoppin', booty call hours on a saturday night. that, and fudgsicles are a naturally lowfat food, as opposed to those evil saturated fat-intensive ice cream dalliances.

no, i thought, the fudgsicles are more of an everyday treat. the fudgsicles will always be there for me...lying in wait in the tundra of my food bin. tonight was kinda special. the treat i ate must mean something more, somehow. so tonight, i'd let it be ice cream.

ok, now, to decide on a flavor. cherry garcia, my perennial favorite? hm. the idea of thick chocolate bits was appealing, but yet, something was missing. hmmm. proven had just written recently about mint chocolate chip. yes, i like that flavor. haven't seen enough of it. refreshing, yet rich. but still...something lacking.

"you know what i'd like?" i asked myself. "i'd like mint ice cream with pieces of oreo-type cookie in it. it wouldn't have to be an actual oreo-endorsed product...any chocolate-on-the-outside-creme-in-the-inside, oreo-aspiring cookie would do. as long as it was embedded in a icy cloud of tongue-smacking mintosity."

ah, me. i mused at my insouciance towards the threat of oncoming calories and fat grams. wasn't it just this morning that i grimaced at the snugness of my jeans and vowed to get my sweet kicks from god's natural bounty of fresh fruits? was i hoping to have more back than puff's main squeeze?

ah, man. mint ice cream + mashed-up oreos. that would be the living end, but did such a product exist? searching my ice cream databases, i came across a sketchy reference to said flavor in a file in the ben & jerry's folder. i believed that i had seen just such a flavor as i reached over it to get my grateful dead-tribute treat. hmmm...and yet i could never recall having thought, "oh, i'd like to try that mint and cookie flavor sometime." not in the least. was i experiencing the effects of subliminal advertising at its best? were jerry and ben making me want something i didn't need? oh, but i needed it. oh, how i needed it.

as i pull into the ralph's parking lot, it was a forgone conclusion. ice cream was going to be had. after buying some red herring fruits and vegetables, i wandered to the frozen food aisle and began to scan those vermont boys' offerings. well, i'll be a monkey's uncle! (as opposed to a chunky monkey's uncle...my second favorite b&j taste sensation.) there it was! as clear as day! mint chocolate cookie ice cream! holy jehosophat! the patron saint of fat teeth has answered my pleas!

now i'm home. about to pop "red rock west" into the vcr and spend some quality time gnoshing my booty. the ice cream, silly.

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