2000-06-14 | 04:51:33

what the fuck is up with this whole worship of sliced bread shit? man, people got along fine for centuries ripping hunks of their daily sustenance right off the loaf. later, sure, they used knives to cut more sandwich-appropriate wedges, but they were still JUST FINE discovering fires and wheels and theorems and shit without "sliced bread."

C'MON! we have sent a man to the moon, created a "world wide web," and found creams to diminish the appearance of cellulite. IS IT TOO MUCH TO ASK to compare something good to something other than sliced bread? huh? HUH?!

lots of good things have happened since sliced bread, LOTS! things that are categorically, indisputably BETTER than this ridiculously imposed sliced bread measure of success. hello! uh, anyone heard of "the beatles"--mmHMMM?

if ever a cliche has gone stale, this one has. it's a wonder no one's complained sooner. can we let it go, people? can we? this is us let...ting...it...go...see how good that felt? isn't that feeling of letting go the best thing since sliced bread? fuck yeah! i knew it would be.

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