2000-06-06 | 02:56:48

you down with OCD? yeah, you know me.

i'm a germphobe.

there. i said it. partly due to biology. partly due to environment. my mom is a nurse, so i trained at the feet of a germphobe extraordinare.

my damage? i wash my hands a lot. enough so that friends and co-workers have taken note and chosen to tease me about it. i also carry baby wipes in my car. in case i encounter germs en route. these infant accessories elicit fun-poking as well, such as the commonly and coyly said refrain, "lori, is there something you aren't telling us?!"

i'm sure i have OCD. oh, sure of it. i mean, i don't run around straightening the fringe on rugs like that certain game show host does who i saw in a weepy interview on one of those nightly news magazine shows. i just like to have clean hands! geez! i'm not some fringe freak!

desert storm told me that the origin of the habit was because i must be feeling guilty about something. "what have you done?!" he inquired with a cocked eyebrow. i should have cold-cocked him right then, but he washed his hands of me soon enough.

ok, so anyway, yeah. my mom and sister both have OCD symptoms, too, but chose to focus on mine instead. great. they want me to see a doctor about it, but i just don't feel ready to pop little prescribed pills that are gonna mess with my brain chemistry. rave kids be damned.

i like my brain the way it is. tweaked to be sure. ok, so by the time i hit middle age, i'll probably be donning a plastic-masked, haz-mat suit or wearing kleenex boxes on my feet a la howard hughes. hey, do soft puffs come in size 8 1/2?

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