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2000-05-28 | 04:35:44

Memoirs of a Stink Bug

Ebenitza was an odd little girl. There was no denying it. It was hard to put a finger on what made her so odd, but everyone who came in contact with her sensed it. Even people pushing carts down a grocery aisle would give an extra wide berth as they passed her, their eyes averted. Ebenitza didn�t seem to be bothered by folks� strange reaction to her. Maybe since it had always been that way, she didn�t find people�s odd way of treating her as odd as people found her.

Even children thought Ebenitza was odd. She was always left to play alone on the school grounds, tracing shapes in the dust with a twig and plucking at the lint on her socks, occasionally glancing up from under greasy bangs to watch the other children push and scream and shove and laugh on the jungle gym and four-square court.

Ebenitza�s teacher put up with her, but didn�t give Ebenitza any special attention. Polite, but distant, the teacher would mark-up Ebenitza�s homework and grudgingly mark a star at the top of most of her math and spelling papers. As odd as Ebenitza was, she was smart.

"The two often go hand-in-hand it seems," mused the teacher to herself as she caught a glimpse of Ebenitza twisting a pencil top eraser in her ear.

Ebenitza lived with her great aunt in a brownstone walk-up in New York City. Ebenitza liked the idea of living in a city called The Big Apple. She imagined herself being a cozy little worm tucked inside the core as she crawled into her little bed at night.

One day Ebenitza decided to notice how oddly people treated her. A feeling of sadness began to unravel in her stomach like one of her aunt�s musty, old, crocheted afghans. Loneliness rose in her throat and became a stubborn lump.

One morning, as she ate a bowl of shredded wheat, swallowing extra hard because of the lump, she decided to talk it over with her aunt.

"Auntie," quizzed Ebenitza, "why am I so very odd?"

Ebenitza�s aunt had to be posed with the question a second time, since she had been engrossed in an especially good Dear Abby letter in the Times.

"Dear little Ebenitza," smiled her aunt, "why would you say something like that? You aren�t odd at all."

"But people stare, Auntie," the girl frowned. "They give me extra room on the sidewalk�as if I was an icky, old stink bug."

"Ebbie dear, we live in New York," explained her aunt. "Everyone who lives here is odd in some way or the other. That�s why I won�t let you play outside unless I�m watching you from the stoop."

"But Auntie," said Ebenitza, "why do the school kids say that I�ll bring an Uzi to school one day and shoot them all up? I don�t want to hurt anyone."

"I know, dear. Children can be cruel. Don�t you listen to them."

Ebenitza was less than satisfied with this discourse. She decided to go to the source. The next day after school, she approached the instigator of most of the meanness�Bettina, the most popular girl in third grade.

"Bettina!" called Ebenitza. The girl stopped and swung around to see who was interrupting her trip across the courtyard. When she saw Ebenitza, she shrugged and sighed.

"What?!" she scowled.

"Never mind," said Ebenitza.

"You�re so very odd, Ebenitza," harumphed Bettina.

"There. Yes! Why? Why am I so very odd?"

"If you have to ask�" Bettina swung back around and continued her prance across the schoolyard, her book bag patting sassily against her hip. Ebenitza shot little imaginary spitwads of hate at the barrette on the back of Bettina�s blonde head as she sashayed away.

"Bitchtina," hissed Ebenitza under her breath, and then was distracted by a movement by her feet. It was a stumbling stink bug who had just missed climbing onto her scuffed-up, round-toe shoes. She watched as it made its way through the dust pattern she had traced just that morning. Ebenizta folded her fingers into the shape of a gun and rat-tat-tat-tatted a spray of imaginary bullets at the bug�s shiny casing. She thought about smashing it with her heel, but just kicked some dust on it instead. The bug paused and launched its hindquarters into firing position.

"You don�t scare me," challenged Ebenitza. "You�re just a silly old stink bug. You�re no match for a very odd girl like me."

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