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2000-05-05 | 22:47:29

in fourth grade, i was in love with richard b. he was super tall (for a fourth grader) and super skinny. but he had a cute face and had skin that was naturally just the right shade of tan. he kinda looked liked the handsome paramedic randolf mantooth on the popular tv show of the day "emergency." hubba, hubba. (e.r. "hunk" george clooney, eat your heart out. randolf had it goin' on, big time.)

so i set about a plan to woo the young mr. b. oh yes, i did. i watched his movements, made notes of his habits. once i noticed he checked out a book about wyatt earp from the school library. when it was back on the shelf, i grabbed it. you know, to look cool...like i was into what he was into. i remember i was sitting at a table in the library looking at it when he took his friend evan over to find the book. "oh, SHE has it," he said, totally irritated.

then one day on the playground, in a bid for attention, i grabbed his ubiquitous navy blue baseball cap from off his head and started running across the blacktop. i hadn't really thought that one through, you see. he was playing four-square or something, because he had one of those big, thin-skinned, reddish dodge balls in his hands. as i tore across the asphalt giggling to myself, i was suddenly struck down by a well-aimed missile between my ankles. searing pain burned both knees as i ate it. i think my ugly-ass, grey, cat-eye glasses may have even flown off. (wouldn't that be a tragic touch?)

as the ever-popular, also perenially tanned-skinned shelle gathered me up from a crying heap, richard snatched the cap from my scraped hands. cold-hearted son-of-a-gun! then shelle carried me into the classroom and hollered out with all the righteous anger of a ten-year-old norma rae: "teacher! look what richard did to her!"

many years later, in college, he asked me out. i felt some sense of victory, but it could never be the same, you know? i could never trust a guy who was willing to drop me with a sucker punch on an abrasive surface in front of my on-looking peers. c'mon!

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take a peek at these - (c) 2000-2003 nictate:

health tip
2005-03-16

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2005-03-16

moving house
2004-11-19

quibbling with quitherfeather
2004-11-17

catcher in the wry
2004-11-16