2000-05-04 | 23:35:31

i have taken to nicknaming my past relationships after historic wars.

it all started during my recovery over a two-and-a-half-year relationship where the guy had an ex-wife, two kids from two different marriages and a bankruptcy. during my break-up recovery i realized that that relationship had been my own personal vietnam. i began referring to him as "vietnam" when i related stories about things that had happened. gallows humor at its best.

i've recently christened my last serious relationship "desert storm," since it was a more limited skirmish. while it lasted longer than said military engagement, it did take place in an extremely hostile environment and caused many strange after-effects.

if only there were a veterans' administration for the dating world. i think i'd be up for a sizable pension.

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